I love the websites of little hotels and B&B’s. There’s something sweet about how uniformly lo-fi and ugly they are, all the scrappy bells and whistles of the early internet hurled at one page. It’s like they’re trying to seduce and repel you at the same time, but because you know what to expect when you go looking for somewhere to stay in midcoast Maine, figuring out their tortured navigation is just a reassuring part of the pre-vacation ritual. The photos of the rooms are almost always dimly lit and sketchy-looking, but somehow descriptions like “small and very charming room with emerald carpeting, dark wood wainscoting and trim, light wallpaper, and lace curtains” sound like the greatest thing ever. I mean, wainscoting! Added to the fact that these places have amazing names like “The Jeweled Turret Inn” and “Berry Manor,” promise things like “sherry on the terrace,” and mention their policies about pets and children in the same sentence, and I am totally sold.

In July, we’re staying in a place that promises breakfast specialties including sourdough gingerbread waffles. Apparently, the fireplace in the den “is said to have been built of rocks from every state in the Union at the time the house was constructed,” and “one can examine it for hours and not uncover every beautiful detail.” The innkeepers are “lighthouse aficionados”! Their website’s nav bar has a cameo and a tassle on it! I am so ready.