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Previously

previously

CNN was on the TV in my coffee place this morning, with the senate panel hearings on the eavesdropping “program.” The guys in there had it on mute, but I swear, it looked like Gonzales was trying (though not very hard) not to grin.

I just don’t understand why people think a couple making a new last name for them both to have in common is any weirder than a woman giving up her name and taking her husband’s. Sunday Styles was a bit radical this week, huh? They also had this article about the lack of changing tables in men’s restrooms.

Ummmmm, the new Pink video, “Stupid Girls”? Maybe it’s a little bit hilarious that she makes fun of Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson et al in a video airing on MTV, but it’s not cool for her to spend so much time calling them stupid. And are these specific “stupid girls” really the only ones to blame for the lack of women in leadership, as a powersuit-clad Pink seems to insist? I think not. In real life, the little pigtailed girl at the beginning and end of the video, who is shown to be so impressionable (with a non-slutty Pink as the angel on one shoulder, and a gyrating stripper-type as the devil on the other, in a totally bizarre bit of messaging), wouldn’t learn anything from these oversimplified put downs. But at the very end of the video, she picks up a football instead of a barbie. Hooray! See, boy things are just better – and smarter! – than girl things.

It’s also a wee bit convenient that Pink can use her own hot body to convincingly imitate these “stupid girls” in their bikinis and lingerie and daisy dukes, managing to show skin in her video while condemning other women for doing the same. Is this really what a girl pop singer has to do to differentiate herself?

The Times has been running announcements for gay weddings since 2002, but I think this is the first time the big feature wedding story has featured a gay couple. A nice milestone, but it must be said, the sight of two women in frothy white wedding dresses is even more ridiculous than the sight of one. Ugh.

And Betty Friedan died yesterday, on her 85th birthday. Today a woman at Bluestockings was telling me something about how in Jewish mysticism it’s very meaningful to die on your birthday. Well, whatever. Today, I’m going to remember this:

Though in later years, some feminists dismissed Ms. Friedan’s work as outmoded, a great many aspects of modern life that seem routine today — from unisex Help Wanted ads to women in politics, medicine, the clergy and the military — are the direct result of the hard-won advances she helped women attain.

…but there’ll be more to say later.

I took yesterday off. I highly recommend doing this. A Thursday off is especially good, because you basically only have a 3-day week to deal with, and then you only have to work a single day after your day off before the weekend, which is totally managable. I’m full of these elaborate schemes and philosophies about how to best arrange personal days and vacation time, and whether a Friday or Monday is a better day to have as a 3-day weekend (it’s totally Monday). It would be nice to have more opporunity to put this in action though.

Anyway. Yesterday was great, two museums and then to a taping of The Colbert Report, which was just as fun and hilarious as you’d hope. The set/studio were much smaller than they look on TV, kind of like how famous people are always shorter in person than you think they’ll be. The Colbert himself is actually tall, though. Watching as he watched a pre-taped segment where he interviewed representative Gerald Nadler was very cool. He was leaning back in his chair and grinning, so pleased with himself. Christie Whitman was the guest. She was okay, since, although she’s a Republican – of the new “it’s my party, too!” species – she’s not a complete psychopath. Listening to her defend the Republican party, though, while at the same time saying that they are wrong on many social issues and are alienating lots of people and don’t have much of a mandate for what they’re doing to this country, made me want to throw something. You know? Moderate republicans are fiiiiiine, sure. Make nice. They don’t mind the gays and theoretically support abortion rights (until it comes time to vote for a Supreme Court justice, apparently). But all of this is invalidated by their support for Bush. All these New Yorkers think Bloomberg is such a nice guy, but he was the biggest donor to Bush’s reelection campaign. So is he any better? Not so much. Because when it comes down to it, you can bet Mike and Christie would happily sell you and you uterus and your deviant sex life out to protect their money and keep getting invited down to Crawford.

Speaking of your uterus, go read Rebecca Traister’s article, aptly named “What the Hell Happened?” at Salon. All I can think of now is that we need to get a lot more scary. We’re pretty much on the verge of this… much as conservatives hate queers and feminists and single parents and environmentalists and civil rights activists and immigrants (and on and on), they also find us terrifying, and the kind of fear we inspire in them is a different kind than they inspire in us. There’s something useful in that somewhere.

There’s a show on at the International Center of Photography called, “Che: Revolution & Commerce,” and it’s worth checking out. It’s basically an exploration of how the iconic Che Guevara image “Guerrillero Heroico,” which may be the most widely reproduced image in the history of photography (just think about that!), has evolved and been used. Maybe the coolest part was seeing an enlargement of the contact sheet with the original “Guerillero Heroico” image on it, seeing where it fit in with the rest of what Alberto Korda shot that day. The show’s not all about commercialization, either, or the irony of that image being used to sell things. There’s a lot of that in there, but there’s also a lot of protest art, and the show ultimately doesn’t take a position on the pros and cons of commericalization (though you can buy a t-shirt of the show in the museum gift shop – the image on it is the uncropped photograph that is the basis of the show, which I guess says something about ICP’s take on authenticity and their position on the whole reproducibility thing).

The “Obsessive Drawing” show at the Folk Art Museum was also pretty amazing, mainly because of one piece that left both Alex and me absolutely reeling. That piece, a 35-foot long, insanely detailed pencil drawing by Chris Hipkiss, isn’t on the museum’s or the artist’s Web site, and if it was, it wouldn’t compare to seeing the actual drawing anyway, which isn’t behind glass, so every smudge and tiny square feels personal. I can’t even begin to comprehend how he made this piece. But what I keep thinking about (aside from Hipkiss’ work, which seriously makes my brain short circuit), is this: the show was made up of examples of obsessive drawing by 5 male artists. I would have been interested to know if this version of obsessiveness is something that tends to be acted out specifically by men (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is supposedly diagnosed in men and women equally, and much of the work here was clearly a product of OCD), but there’s no way to figure this out based only on the gender represented at the show, since in the art world – as in so many other places – men are still the rule, and women the exception. A show called “Obsessive Drawing” that featured all women artists would be seen as some kind of statement about women… namely, that they’re crazy. So, does women’s absence from this show mean only men are crazy?

You need Times Select (or a real, newsprinted newspaper) to read it, but Sarah Vowell, my pick for Mayor of NYC, is guest columnist-ing at the Times all through February.

…it has been said that God is currently angry with America. But according to God’s publicist, the Supreme Being would like to clarify that He’s not angry, but that “He would like His name taken off the credits.”

lover don’t turn yr head

The first thing we noticed about Evan Dando on Saturday night was that his hair was clean. Really clean. When he played at Maxwell’s 2 years ago, he was wearing an old man cardigan and a hat over a scuzzy ponytail. This time his hair was all shiny, and he had bangs. He kind of looked like a shampoo commercial. But not in a recovered rockstar kind of way. More like maybe he’s healthy and not doing lots of drugs. Good things.

Evan! Thank you for starting your set with the booger song! Thank you for finishing with “Big Gay Heart.” Thank you for a supply of happy bouncey music and stripped down acoustic sets and the simple radness that is Baby I’m Bored, for making me think about Sassy magazine’s Cute Band Alerts, and the greatness that was and is and maybe will still be The Lemonheads.

For a little while longer, you can still smoke in bars in New Jersey. It’s been awhile since I’ve come home from a night out with my clothes smelling like cigarettes, where that kind of thing used to be my badge of honor. It was disgusting, but also nice, like most kinds of nostalgia. Oh, New Jersey.

Have you heard the new Gossip record? Holy crap. It’s slightly more polished than their first 2 (as these things go) but it is Just. So. Good. I can’t stop listening to it, and marvelling at 1) how just one guitar and drums backing the vocals can sound so explosive and 2) how that keeps their sound from being too clean or overblown, keeps them sounding vaguely dirty and garage-y no matter how perfect the production is. The Gossip. Don’t-fuck-with-me punk, with soul. I love listening to them when I’m walking around late at night, scowling and grinning at the same time. As soon as Beth Ditto starts to sing I start to swagger. I start to be really conscious of my hips, if that makes any sense.

I’m also loving the new Cat Power, and slowly getting into Jenny Lewis’ solo album. 3 ladies with voices in one week, the first CD’s I’ve bought in a few months, since I finally started downloading music from the interweb, only about 6 years after everyone else figured it out. By the way, did you catch Ben Ratliff in the Times awhile back referring to Chan Marshall and Beth Orton as “the sad slacker divas,” in contrast to the “great female singers of exultation — Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé”? He meant it in a good way, but it’s still incredibly dumb. Why are they slackers? Because their music is laid back and they don’t over-sing their songs (oh, and they write them themselves)? Let’s start calling Ben Gibbard and Conor Oberst and the legions of less interesting emo dudes who persist in making albums “weepy freeloading [something... I can't think of the male version of "divas"].” Nothing against Ben or Conor (mostly). But come on already.

I picked up the February issue of Spin because Jessica Hopper and Julianne Shepard have an article about the various lawsuits and troubles going on with SuicideGirls. I haven’t read that magazine in a million years, long enough that I was actually shocked to see how tiny and flimsy it is now. I remember it being a direct competitor to Rolling Stone. I guess now Spin is actually putting bands on the cover of their magazine while RS is publishing pin-ups of Jessica Alba, hence the size differential. Anyway, the magazine does not totally suck, and even though it’s super skinny, it’s surprisingly light on ads (relatively). There’s an interview with Jenny Lewis by Chuck Klosterman, and it’s largely about Blake Sennett and very gossipy (with the obligatory reference to her being a former! child! star!), but you didn’t hear me scream because it was pretty entertaining. Or maybe I was just really tired when I read it. There’s also an article about radical marching bands which I haven’t read yet. Weird how much interesting content there was. I wonder if it was a fluke.

I am wearing a really ugly sweater. Not ugly in a good way. It’s also scratchy. This was one of those mornings where I woke up way too late, couldn’t decide what to wear and then ran around all panicked putting one thing on and then taking it off and throwing all my clothes on the floor. So this sweater was maybe my fourth try. I would have changed again if I knew it would be so itchy.

Things are happening and my brain is busy. I started a new writing class at The New School – non-fiction this time – and even though the instructor mumbles when he reads in this way that drives me nuts, I think its going to be really interesting and motivating. When I came home I wrote four pages, just like that. Of course, I’m not getting to the million things on my immediate to-do list, like the book review that was supposed to be done last Friday, so I guess tomorrow night will be a chain-myself-to-my-desk kind of situation. Except that the latest Todd Solondz movie just showed up in my mailbox from Netflix. Shit.

Tuesday night I went to hear Mary Oliver read at the 92nd street Y. I was trying yesterday to write about what it was like to be at that reading, but I can’t really do it justice. I could mention that it brought me to tears – which is true – but that just sounds so dramatic and empty. All I can do is tell everyone to go read her poems. She read in an auditorium that I’ve been to before, and hate because it has a border of names of famous dead white guys (Lincoln, Jefferson, Moses, Shakespeare… you know the list) just below the ceiling, and therefore positioned over the stage. So there was Oliver, so humble and brilliant and amazing, standing at a podium underneath that list of names, a woman telling more truth than those guys ever did. And if that’s an overstatement, too fucking bad. It’s rare that you see a juxtaposition like that, one that SO cleary spells out a dynamic that we usually have to convince people even exists.

My new tote bag just arrived from Queen Bee so I can finally start carrying around the large amount of crap that I need to, instead of packing my dumb girl purse so full that it’s like a brick.

some things from today, and some from not today.

“My Father’s Abortion War,” an essay adapted from Eyal Press’ forthcoming book (which looks really good).

The fabulous Elizabeth Merrick is interviewed in Venus.

An interview with Steven Colbert – out of character and totally on point – at the av club.

Really good news: Daniel McGowan has been released into the custody of his sister, despite the “urgent plea” from the prosecutor to keep him locked up until trial. Reports indymedia:

Incredibly, the DA had attempted to assert that one of the factors showing that McGowan was unworthy of being released was the fact that he had supported political prisoner Jeff “Free” Leurs. Apparently, the judge was not buying that.

things about men, mostly

I really really want to believe that I was NOT hearing a musak version of “Get Up, Stand Up” in Au Bon Pain just now, but I guess I shouldn’t live in denial. On this same lunch break, I got asked out by a dude who was hawking his CD’s on the corner. I’m always slightly disturbed by how easily and quickly the “I have a boyfriend” lie rolls out of my mouth, I don’t even have to think about it. And I always resent that I have to use that excuse at all, as if that’s the only reason I would turn down having dinner with this guy… but it’s really just the easiest way to diffuse a situation and get the guy to let go of my hand. Whatever works, I guess.

Had a meeting this afternoon with the designers of our Annual Report, who I’ve worked with for a year and a half and who are great. After we’d gone over the project we were talking more generally, and one of them said (not completely out of nowhere), “I just got off the phone with my wife – she’s an art director and used to work for me – and I realized that because we used to work together, I am pretty much always telling her what to do.” I didn’t know what to say. Congratulations? That kind of insight usually comes after lots of therapy? He’s a pretty subdued guy, and was clearly awed by this revelation. The other designer is the one I do more work with, and he is Britsh and adorable and I have a huge embarassing crush on him. It’s usually easy to handle because we communicate mainly via phone and email, but when we meet in person I spend the rest of the day smiling stupidly.

There are a whole lot of things I love about the Sunday Times, and one of them is the “Modern Love” column in the “Styles” section. Sometimes it’s sappy, sometimes crazy, but always – ALWAYS – entertaining. Sometimes it’s even beautifully written or painfully relatable, though I don’t think this last thing is ever really the point. After a couple of not so great ones over the last few weeks, this past weekend’s kind of blew me away. It was suspenseful and spare and raw and gorgeous. And the subject is along the lines of something I’ve been thinking a lot about, and scribbling down notes for some eventual essay about… the way “older men” function in relationship to “younger women,” how it seems like so many women that I know have at some point formed relationships with much older men almost as a rite of passage, and how this dynamic is all over a lot of fiction I read as a kid/teenager. Abby Sher’s piece – “So He Looked Like Dad. It Was Just Dinner, Right?” – is more specific about her motivations, and so worth reading.

This piece about scoring massive amounts of free shit by posing as journalist is hilarious (and horrifying), and makes me even sadder that this is The Black Table’s last week in existence.

i might need to get cable.

This American Life has some amazing news!

Last week Showtime made it official: we’re going to produce a series for them, a television version of This American Life. We shot a pilot last year, and the full series will begin broadcasting in the fall or winter of 2006. We’ll continue making the radio show while we do the TV show. Again: the radio show will stay on the air.

What we can say about the series: It doesn’t look a TV newsmagazine. It’s shot to look like a movie. Widescreen. Beautiful lighting. And the stories feel just like the stories on the radio show. When we started the pilot, we weren’t sure that’d be possible. Now we’re convinced it is. We’ll give more details – and hopefully some previews – in the coming months.

sunday

Yesterday at Bluestockings was one of those great, busy days where there are a million people buzzing around high on books and caffeine and that certain Sunday afternoon feeling, and everyone is in a good mood. Then it was off to eat dinner uptown with my favorite cousins and back down to meet someone for a drink, who it turned out didn’t generally like to drink. He changed his mind about that after the first round, but in between there was the pizza place where the guy stood next to our table shaping the dough for a new vegan pie with his hands, hanging just a couple inches from the floor, and telling us stories. That was the best part of the night. That, and the lights still on in the bookstore at 1am and Jeffrey there to commiserate. Other than that it was mostly me sitting and staring at the tin ceiling and stabbing at the lime and ice at the bottom of my glass.

On the way from one thing to another, I totally had a missed connection, Village Voice style (or maybe more Craig’s List, these days). Except that it was someone I already knew instead of someone I sensed I was destined to meet. Waiting for the uptown V train at 2nd avenue late Sunday afternoon, a girl waiting for the F. From a good distance away, she already looked a lot like a girl who I went to summer camp with and was good friends with and totally loved. So I kept staring. And looking away. And staring again. She definitely saw me and nothing registered, probably not least because last time I saw her I had super short spiky hair. Her train pulled in and she got on, and right then I decided that it definitely was her. But by the time I ran to get onto that train (which I could’ve taken in the first place) the door closed and she was gone. And then I remembered that the V wasn’t even running. So I had a nice cinematic missed connection AND I was late for dinner.

The last time we talked was about 6 years ago. I was in Seattle and she was in Portland and we were trying to figure out a way to meet up but didn’t, and that was it. She was living in Berkeley and then ended up at school in Boston and I looked up her email address there a couple years ago but did nothing with it, and now it’s too late because even though I’m sure it was her yesterday, Google turns up no useful contact info.

Other Google snooping revealed awhile ago that another friend who I had a mysterious, fucked up and still pretty unsettling falling out with when we were 17 is most definitely living in Brooklyn. One day in the land of sleep deprivation and caffeine overload (otherwise known as work) I wrote him an email that I don’t ever plan to send. It’s still waiting in my email draft box though, with the placeholder subject line “an email to send to D if I’m feeling adventurous.” But it’s not adventure, just curiosity. I need to keep reminding myself that that is just not enough.